Alrighty, an audition for

I've been itching to do something with Alk lately, not sure why.

Any who; if anyone spots even a tiny little mistake please let me know!

Also strong language warning so I don't get booted from the tourney for not following site rules or whatever. I'll get rid of it if the judges say it's okay.

Are piss and crap still swears? I think they may have lost that status a bit lately.